Day 1 With Out Husband

When I was pregnant and hormonally crazy I wondered A LOT about how 16 year olds managed being pregnant, I know how they managed to get pregnant, but how did they manage being pregnant.

While pregnant, I was not my usual self. And in the last trimester I most certainly was not my usual self.

I relied on Brion so much while pregnant. Mostly because I could. But I am not convinced that I could have done it by myself.

He was the one I shared everything gross about being pregnant with, the one that would let me cry on his shoulders, the one to go get me some crazy food craving in the middle of the night, well late evening. He was everything a husband should be.

Then, we had a baby. WE. And then I REALLY wondered how the teenagers of this world handle being a single mom. For the first few weeks I was not convinced I could handle it even with an incredibly supportive husband.

Now, with him gone. Even if it is just a mere 15 hours so far, I get a small glimpse of the immense things that he does for Titus and I.

Even just as small BUT HUGE as emptying the Diaper Genie (which I had actually never done). I'm pretty sure that I managed to do it correctly.

And then there is taking the garbage out. This is no small feat. While cleaning today, I managed to rack up 3 bags of garbage. OH, and I still didn't emptying the bathroom garbage. When I have to actually empty the can myself, which is few and far between I set the bags in a bin right outside our front door, my wonderful husband then walks them across the parking lot into the dumpster.

Now, when I left the house today, and walked past the garbage bags I thought I should take those to the dumpster. However, child AND carseat, purse and diaper bag and bag of things to return to Wal-Mart, I thought how am I suppose to do that. So I didn't.

Then I came home, looked again at the bags of garbage and with child in hand screaming "feed me, feed me, feed me" I again passed them by.

I fed said child, put him to bed, read him his good night story, prayed, turned on the montitor and walked out the door.

I then happened to glance out our sliding glass door to see this....

So I watched and listened to the raccoons for awhile. In awe of such nature right outside my sliding glass door. I knew I was a safe distance from them and they weren't scared of me or my flashing camera.

And then - I remembered the garbage. It would only take 3 baby raccoons and a mama raccoon so long to sniff out what something in one of those three bags of garbage.

So, I did the unthinkable. I locked the front door, grabbed the garbage walked across the parking lot and threw it away. And when I got back Titus was still in his basinet and still squirming.

I miss you, husband.