Pics of Titus (7 weeks old)

Taken 6/27/08 at Mingus Park by our super awesome photographer Ashley!

See more at

www.perspectivephotography.blogspot.com

What I've learned in the last 7 weeks

Seven weeks ago this Sunday, I gave birth to my first child.

One week ago I attended my TEN year high school reunion.

Two days ago I accomplished ten months of marriage.

1. Water does not break like it does in the movies. It does not break once. If the child inside has not dropped it will continue to break over and over again all day. Gross.

2. Epidural does make labor pain free. And getting an epidural is incredibly uncomfortable.

3. No one tells you about the pressure. Pressure isn't pain. It is a completely different category.

4. I was not the woman I expected myself to be in labor. I screamed, grunted, swore to never have kids, shushed my husband from praying, almost prayed for a c-section, BUT I never said a bad word.

5. No one can ever explain to you how incredibly hard it is to be a mom or a dad. People tried. I still had no idea.

6. No one can ever explain to you how incredibly wonderful it is to be a mom or dad. People tried. I still had no idea.

7. The first time he smiled at me, and I really felt like he had, I cried.

8. OH! The baby blues... WOW... I wept for no reason. They lasted for a couple weeks, and I wasn't sure they would end. AGAIN... caught by surprise.

9. They tell you to count on wearing your maternity clothes out of the hospital, no problem. BUT someone could have told me I wouldn't be able to wear my shoes out of the hospital. My feet and ankles and calves were VERY swollen for a week.

10. "Failing" at breastfeeding is devastating. Especially when my body was at fault.

11. Really understanding that all of Titus' days were written before he was born and mine too and that I didn't "FAIL" at breastfeeding - Absolutely Amazing!!!

12. I CAN take the baby out in public, to the store, to a restaurant, to the park, even to work. And I can do it by myself.

13. It is way easier to do it not by myself, and especially with Dad.

14. Brion is more of a Dad then I ever imagined him being.

15. We have almost survived our first year of marriage, so far we have survived a pregnancy, child birth, and the first few weeks of newborn baby. We can do ANYTHING! And I am more in love with him everyday!

16. Cheap carnations are the best flowers because they last the longest. (More bang for your buck!) And... my husband does his best to make sure there are always fresh ones in the house for me!

17. 10 year high school reunions are not really all they are cracked up to be.

18. Everyone has now convinced me that my 20 year reunion will be so much better.

19. Is semi-formal really a hard concept to understand?

20. I would not trade my life for anything. Would not change the slightest piece of it. I have a wonderful husband, an amazing baby, good church - good jobs. We're not perfect and we have lots of faults. But we love Jesus and almost everynight my husband holds me in his arms and prays for me and our family and that is more than I could ever ask for.

Too Much Fun

16 days old

Labor & Delivery Story

I have been meaning to share my l&d story for quite awhile...


On Saturday May 10, I was exactly 39 weeks pregnant according to my calculations. I had just kissed my husband goodbye and sent him off to his men's mentoring group, it was 6:20am. I, still curled up in bed, was determined to snuggle in the big bed (it is a small bed at 9 months pregnant with two people in it and since husband had departed and it was going to be a while before I got up to go garage sale-ing with my mom, it was a big bed for the moment). I situated myself lengthwise across the bed and curled up with the morning news. I heard Brion start the van.... and then I felt a "gush".

hmm.... I thought to myself, that was NEW. For those of you that have been pregnant, you know that lots of new things happen.... and well I hadn't felt a "gush".

So I laid there a few more seconds, and then another "gush".

Ok. Fine. I got out of my snuggle bed and went to check out this gush stuff. Sure, enough, my water had broken.

7 phone calls later to a husband who happened to have his phone on silent, and 1 call to the hospital to find out if I had to come in immediately and to get permission to take a shower. Brion arrived back at the apartment and we hurriedly finished packing the hospital bag and off we were.

We arrived at the hospital just after 7:30am (it's literally 3 minutes away from us) and I let the nurses know that I had arrived. They proceeded to take me to the "are you really in labor room?". The entire time I am still "gushing". Because you see my wonderful little man never "dropped" I never experienced the "lightening phase" or the ability to suddenly breathe easier, because my little man was still firmly jammed under my right set of ribs. SO... when your water breaks, the baby's head is suppose to help clog the hole and well since little man was still floating so high I just continued to gush water, pretty much all day. ALL DAY.

So back to the nurses who are "checking" to make sure my water has broken... well, they give me my little gown to put on and are getting ready to strap me in to all the "are you really in labor" equipment... and I gushed amniotic fluid all the way from the bathroom to the bed, with which they promptly said "OK, you're admitted."

So room 4 becomes my home. I think at this point Brion and I are in complete disbelief that we are actually going to have a baby that day. A little intense. My maternity leave was starting that Monday, I was looking forward to having a couple days off to be miserably pregnant at home. I had seriously just finished 3 weeks of intense events at church that were my responsibility. And with each person who had said "What if the baby comes early?" I had replied "God knows this baby can't come till after May 9th" and on May 10th it started.

I was still incredibly comfortable, well 9 months pregnant with stuff gushing out of you comfortable, but no contractions. I had been a little over 1 cm dilated and 80% effaced at my last doctor's appointment and was hoping for better news when they checked me but nope they said the same thing. And even better - I was ot having any contractions.... well real small incredibly irregular ones.

And then I find out that Dr. Male Doctor Who Is On Call will be seeing me shortly, so that means that Dr. Female Who I Have Been Seeing For The Last Nine Months will not be there to deliver my baby. This, all though I knew it was possible, is incredibly disconcerting for me. I purposely chose a female doctor and never imagined that SHE would not be delievering my baby.

Well when Dr. Male shows up, he says the word "pitocin" and I respond with the word "epidural". He says "Let's have a baby by sundown" hmmm, that's a good 12 hours from now I can handle that.

So the pitocin starts... slowly... and the contractions start barely. I have ordered my epidural by now, not to have the medicine put in but to get the epidural line put in so that when my pitocin contractions get started, really started, the medicine can get put right in.

So while we wait Brion makes all kind of phone calls, we're giddy and nervous, we play a game of crib. And then roughly noonish "Charlie the epidural man" shows up. He is a older man, small in stature with a very careful voice. I trust him not to paralyze me.

I have my husband and nurse #2 of the day, Joy, and we start this epidural process.... WHICH does not go as easy I thought it would. So two hours later of me keeping my back curled in a C position, my head down, and fearing paralyzation or having to have this baby with out an epidural. So two hours later the epidural is in, the test medicine goes in, my blood pressure crashes, they get it back up to an acceptable range and start the pitocin again...

AND nothing happens, not a single contraction for hours. I think I might be maybe 2cm by now, I can't remember,
they won't check me very often because my water is broken and they don't want to risk infection. Which if fine, whatever.

At 5pm... my contractions... finally... start. and they start to hurt. I am finally dialated closer to 4 so the epidural medicine gets puts in. AHHHHHHHHHHH... pain free. I can feel my tummy harden with each contraction and watch them on the monitor. Oh, pretty sure I have internal monitors on by now, Praise the Lord, I was so tired of having those things around me. And with epidural medicine comes catheter. So I have internal heartbeat monitor, internal contraction monitor, and a catheter, oh and little man still has not dropped enough to stop my water from continually "breaking".

10:30pm, they start antibiotics for me and the little man since he's been in an unsterile environment for so long.

From about 5pm to 1am...ish. I continue to have contractions and stay pretty comfortable and I am thinking "who really wants to do this with out an epidural?' about 1am or so... the "PRESSURE" starts... OH, it's now Sunday, May 11 - Mother's Day.

Now... PRESSURE...
they don't show or tell you about the pressure on A Baby Story
they don't really tell you about in all the books you read
they don't talk about it in your labor classes
OR at least they didn't for me.

So I am starting to feel a little uncomfortable. BY 5am I am incredibly uncomfortable and in incredible pain. PAIN that the epidural does absolutely nothing for. I am in tears. I am that crazy woman in labor telling her husband we are never having children again.

By 7:30am I start pushing. This is after the conversation with my husband about how I have to start pushing and if he needs to tell a nurse he probably should now. With which I get, "don't start pushing yet" WHAT!?!? Are you kidding me, when you have to push YOU HAVE TO PUSH.

About half way through that, they flip me on my side, toss an oxygen mask on me, because little man's heartbeat was dropping too much. Pressure was WORSE on my side.

And push I did until 9:53 am when Titus Matthew Spore finally came out.

What a rush! It happens so quick. The pain stops immediately. They place this tiny human on top of me. He wasn't screaming, but he was breathing. And then they rush him away. Apparently he had his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and he was showing some signs of infection.

I had some intense stich work to be done. Several tears, including one 3rd degree tear. Total of 8 places stitched. But Praise the Lord I didn't have to have a C-Section.

After I was all stiched up, they brought Mr. Titus back to me.

And then, then I got all my wires and tubes, minus the IV, off and took a shower. The most amazing shower EVER.

We spent the next 3 nights in the hospital. I was discharged on Tuesday and Titus was discharged on Wednesday. He stayed a little longer because he recieved IV antibiotics because he was showing signs of an infection. He was a little juandiced one day but we nipped it in the bum.

He was supplemented with formula from a bottle on Monday because he was a lilttle juandiced and that started our breastfeeding realtionship off to a rough start. But that's a whole other post.

Brion and I still miss the hospital. Although we recieved some conflicting information from some nurses all and all we absolutlely loved the nurses and the comfort of having everything right there and not having to make your own meals.

And now here we are home, 3 weeks later and surviving.