I didn't always want to be married...
It wasn't until I really had Christ in my heart that I desired to have a husband someday. And it was even longer before I desire to really be a wife.
When I first met Brion, I didn't know that I would want to marry him someday. Even a couple years after we were such good friends, I still don't think I was convinced that I would want to marry him.
But when we started "courting" I began to know that I wanted to marry him and about a week later I believe I really knew that I really wanted to marry him and be his wife. And definitely by the time he proposed.
And now almost 5 months later, I'm pregnant with his child and desperately in love with him. And now I know more than I did before that I want to be married to him forever and ever. The day I married him was the day I have loved him the least out of all the days since, I am more in love each and everyday. Still falling I assume. Maybe there is no trick to falling, whether you land on rocks or water, maybe the point is to just never stop falling.
He left yesterday for Salem, he'll be back Saturday afternoon. He's not gone that long. But when you finally come to the place of loving your husband so much that you want to see him in the morning, when you or he come home from work, in the evening, and sleep curled next to him in the night. 4 days 3 nights is a long time.
Okay, maybe it's just a really long time when you are pregnant. But I don't know married with out pregnant. Yet.
I have a little bar on my google home page that reminds me how pregnant I am...
Today I am 22 weeks 5 days pregnant with 121 days to go.
Along with the realization that I am 5 months(ish) pregant. Definitely closer to 5 months, than 4 & 1/2 months which was so much more fun saying (and not as scary.)
I feel the little peanut (which is a boy peanut) move inside me more. although not as much as I want to. More so what happens is "I THINK" I feel him, so I stop everything I am doing (including talking to anyone) and place my hand on my tummy say a little prayer that goes something like so (God, please let me feel little Titus again. Amen) and wait for 30 seconds while nothing happens again.
I then speed up like I do, to buzz around getting whatever done. Or I sit distracted by a movie or a conversation. I never seem to be focused on my little guy when he moves enough for me to feel him.
I am constantly assured that this will change.
Other than the wierd pulls of my muscles stretching and making room for my little guy in there AND the constant heartburn. I am enjoying my second trimester very much so. I think.
I have gained a whoping total of 3lbs and am still fitting into my regular clothes, at least I did today. I am not convinced that I will tomorrow. My waist has defintely expanded.
I did however purchase my first pair of maternity pants, and MAN are those things comfy. Well, much more comfy than my jeans, which are very snug in the waist.
We are moving. From our big grand victorian to a house that fits us a little better. Our current house has 36 steps leading to the front door and I have been advised that those would not be fun with a new born, our current landlord wanted to charge us an additional $200 a month to use an extra room (right now we use one of the three bedrooms in the house) and the fact that we don't have a washer and dryer made us start thinking about moving. However, after a big miscommunication with our landlord that ended with her yelling at my husband we promptly gave our 30 days notice. We now have until February 5th to move.
We found a house, we love it. We walked through it on Saturday. Gave them an filled out application to rent, told them how much we loved the place.... AND.... we have heard nothing. They have NOT called us to tell us yes or no. It is breaking my heart. The not knowing process is breaking my heart. The idea of looking at one more junky house to rent is breaking my heart. But I know God has a plan... so we shall see.
That is our current life in a nutshell. Well that is 1/2 our current life in a nutshell. Maybe the rest later. In the meantime just wanted to give a little update.
