35 weeks and 6 days pregnant

I have really really been blessed with this pregnancy.

No bed rest, not gestational diabetes, no crazy wight gain, no high blood pressure.

If you'd asked a doctor before I got pregnant what my chances were of having a pregnancy like the one I have had so far, they would have said they weren't that great.

But they would have told me to watch my diet really closely, to loose as much wieght as I possibly could before. I didn't loose any weight and well my pregnant diet.... not that great.

In fact, no one in the medical profession was even convinced that it would be as "easy" as it was for the two of us to get pregnant.

I say all these things, because I want everyone to know why I think these things happen - BECAUSE OF JESUS!

This is not to say that if I had been given a "rough" pregnancy or even an "awful" one, that it wouldn't have been BECUASE OF JESUS!

Two Tuesdays ago when the doc said, lets order an ultrasound he measures too big. I thought - well, here we go, this is the bump I have been expecting.

Now, you see we know our due date is correct because well, we just do. He's a honeymoon baby after all. So its not so easy, as the few people who asked me "Well, could you just be off on your due date?" might have thought. Yea, NO, we're not off on the due date.

So today, Brion and I trucked into the hospital for our ultrasound. To find out if this little man of ours really is too big.

TURNS OUT!
He's not! Which is good news... guess I just measure big (which is not what a pregnant lady want to think about, but whatever I already feel like a truck)

So they measured his little head, his tummy, his precious little femur bone. And all in all he measures in at 36weeks 2 days, so he's three days ahead of my schedule. He's just an over achiever. And weighs in at an estimated 6lbs 7 oz already!! Already??? my gosh, I hope he's stops growing in the next couple weeks like my books say! Ultrasound tech said she would put him closer to six pounds.

He's got little chubby cheeks already and he's head down like he's supposed to be. PRAISE THE LORD!

So my little guy is cooking right along. Each day I can't imagine being more uncomfortable, but then the next day comes and well... I am more uncomfortable. Some nights are better than others and some are awful. I think I am starting to have not so comfortable braxton hicks or maybe a contraction every now and then. Something that doesn't feel good at least. The stretching/pulling pains have mellowed out a little bit... Thank you Jesus!

And well, we just keep trucking along.

Funny thing for a pregnant lady to do: Put on one of your non-maternity shirts 4 weeks before you are due. Now I switched to maternity shirts well before I probably needed to, but man are they comfortable. So when I switched I could still wear my regular t-shirts. Well last night I making spaghetti sauce and since I don't have an apron I try to use an old t-shirt that I don't care if it gets splashed on so I threw on an old regular t-shirt. It barely covered my belly button! I know my belly has a baby in it and that it had gotten bigger, but I just didn't really realize how much bigger!!!!

And now I go.

Ashley please note that is two posts in one month. :)

baby coming... soon...

34 weeks pregnant am I. Today.

I also had my baby shower today. Parties for myself make me uncomfortable. And even though technically it was for Titus, he still resides in me. We were incredibly blessed. Incredibly.

He can come today if he wants, we'd be able to wash him, dress him, change him, wash him, clip his nails, take his temp, suction snot out of his nose, and I think most of what we would need to do.

Being pregnant is intense, all the things babies need or are supposed to have. Intense.

I feel huge. And I know I will continue to grow "bigger" for another 6 weeks.
I feel like he is out of room already. But I know that he will still keep growing.

I am nervous about when he will come. I want so hard to convince myself that he might be late, so I don't go crazy if he is. But I am incredibly paranoid that he will be early.

We have talks, talks between the three of us. Titus, God and myself.

Pleading prayers more so. God, please don't let Titus come before May 8. God please don't let Titus stay in there for too long. Titus are you listening?

I don't know if these things are concerns or worries so much.

Finalized my maternity leave plans as finalized as they can be. How do you finalize a maternity plan when you don't know when the baby is coming, or how long you can last?

I am shooting for my last Sunday at church being May 10. The following Saturday is my due date. But who knows...

Oh, I swell now. So now, the ring that was already sized one size bigger then pre-pregnancy, now is too tight sometimes. I love my wedding ring. It is my real wedding ring, and I don't want to wear it around my neck. It belongs on my finger.

So the last 8 weeks or so of pregnancy aren't the most fun weeks in your pregnancy. Luckily by this time, I have somewhat forgotten how miserable I was for the first 11 weeks of my pregnancy. Missing those middle 20 weeks that I had, where I didn't feel incredibly pregnant or sick.

On another note, I feel incredibly bonded with my child already. When he squirms or kicks enough to force my attention away from whatever I am doing - I slow down and hang out with him. Put my hands on my tummy and talk to him. If I do not do this for awhile - I miss him. A lot. I am getting more and more excited to meet this little human that lives inside me.

My super amazing husband is gone this weekend at our church Men's Retreat. Can't wait for him to come home and see all the fun things Titus got at the shower.

So there, Miss Ashley, I posted. :)

I will try and keep posting as I struggle through the next 8 weeks of pregnancy. And I really want to be better about posting when Mr. Titus comes out!

51 days and counting...

I am officially 8 months pregnant.



Have I mentioned being pregnant is wierd?



Wonderful and amazing. But wierd.



Cats have kittens. Dogs have puppies. And so on... so you would think I should be convinced that I am have a baby. But I probably won't be until he comes out.



He's in there for sure. Took me 6 months and 3 ultrasounds to be convinced of it.



I am officialy in maternity clothes. OH! How I long for regular pants again. I didn't have to start wearing them seriously till about 6 1/2 months along, and officialy have not been in a regular pair of pants for two weeks.

I didn't always want to be married

I didn't always want to be married...

It wasn't until I really had Christ in my heart that I desired to have a husband someday. And it was even longer before I desire to really be a wife.

When I first met Brion, I didn't know that I would want to marry him someday. Even a couple years after we were such good friends, I still don't think I was convinced that I would want to marry him.

But when we started "courting" I began to know that I wanted to marry him and about a week later I believe I really knew that I really wanted to marry him and be his wife. And definitely by the time he proposed.

And now almost 5 months later, I'm pregnant with his child and desperately in love with him. And now I know more than I did before that I want to be married to him forever and ever. The day I married him was the day I have loved him the least out of all the days since, I am more in love each and everyday. Still falling I assume. Maybe there is no trick to falling, whether you land on rocks or water, maybe the point is to just never stop falling.

He left yesterday for Salem, he'll be back Saturday afternoon. He's not gone that long. But when you finally come to the place of loving your husband so much that you want to see him in the morning, when you or he come home from work, in the evening, and sleep curled next to him in the night. 4 days 3 nights is a long time.

Okay, maybe it's just a really long time when you are pregnant. But I don't know married with out pregnant. Yet.

I have a little bar on my google home page that reminds me how pregnant I am...
Today I am 22 weeks 5 days pregnant with 121 days to go.
Along with the realization that I am 5 months(ish) pregant. Definitely closer to 5 months, than 4 & 1/2 months which was so much more fun saying (and not as scary.)

I feel the little peanut (which is a boy peanut) move inside me more. although not as much as I want to. More so what happens is "I THINK" I feel him, so I stop everything I am doing (including talking to anyone) and place my hand on my tummy say a little prayer that goes something like so (God, please let me feel little Titus again. Amen) and wait for 30 seconds while nothing happens again.

I then speed up like I do, to buzz around getting whatever done. Or I sit distracted by a movie or a conversation. I never seem to be focused on my little guy when he moves enough for me to feel him.

I am constantly assured that this will change.

Other than the wierd pulls of my muscles stretching and making room for my little guy in there AND the constant heartburn. I am enjoying my second trimester very much so. I think.

I have gained a whoping total of 3lbs and am still fitting into my regular clothes, at least I did today. I am not convinced that I will tomorrow. My waist has defintely expanded.

I did however purchase my first pair of maternity pants, and MAN are those things comfy. Well, much more comfy than my jeans, which are very snug in the waist.

We are moving. From our big grand victorian to a house that fits us a little better. Our current house has 36 steps leading to the front door and I have been advised that those would not be fun with a new born, our current landlord wanted to charge us an additional $200 a month to use an extra room (right now we use one of the three bedrooms in the house) and the fact that we don't have a washer and dryer made us start thinking about moving. However, after a big miscommunication with our landlord that ended with her yelling at my husband we promptly gave our 30 days notice. We now have until February 5th to move.

We found a house, we love it. We walked through it on Saturday. Gave them an filled out application to rent, told them how much we loved the place.... AND.... we have heard nothing. They have NOT called us to tell us yes or no. It is breaking my heart. The not knowing process is breaking my heart. The idea of looking at one more junky house to rent is breaking my heart. But I know God has a plan... so we shall see.

That is our current life in a nutshell. Well that is 1/2 our current life in a nutshell. Maybe the rest later. In the meantime just wanted to give a little update.

Holy as He is Holy....

Yesterday in staff meeting. Which always blows me away. Because it's me. 3 pastors. Our administrator. And our office manager, who relects true inner grace and beauty more than anyone I have ever come across. They all have at least 11 years on me. And have such spiritual maturity that at times I feel like just an infant.

Anyhow we did a little church health assesment. My senior pastor is working on his Doctorate. His on the O. He figures it will take him roughly 6 years to get it. He's on his 2nd. So it's the O. However the church assesment was for an upcoming class that he is taking.

We had to answer some very thought provoking questions.
Previous church assesments I have been involved in have been as simple as
"How many small groups do you have?" "Are they well attended?" "How many people come to your church?"
Lame questions - that don't really give you an good idea of the health of your church.

We answered as a team - questions like:

**To what extent are people in our church committed to being holy as God is holy?
**To what extent do the people in our church avoid judgemental attitudes and accept one another just as Christ has accepted them?
**To what extent are the people in our church committed to doing good works because of thier salvation?
**To what extent are the people in our church praying that they will reflect the love and holiness of God Himself?
**To what extent are people in our church ministering to one another by practicing all of the "one-another" injuctions?

That is just a few of the questions we answered about the health of our church. But to reflect on them... to ask myself those same questions. To what extent am I commited to being holy as God is holy? I think about the word "committed". The first thing that comes to mind, is the commitment I have to my husband. He will be my husband until we die. He is the only man in my life. He will come before everything in my life, but not before God. It is a strong commitment. But is a commitment really a commitment if it is not strong? Am I committed to being holy as God is holy? I think I have a wussy commitment to being holy - or I wouldn't curse in my mind, just because the word doesn't make it out of my mouth, doesn't mean I am being holy. That is just ONE example of not being holy. I know I will never be holy as He is holy, but what commitment do I have to trying? I think it's a lame one. An "I'll come to your Christmas party, if I feel up to it" kind of commitment. An "I'll get up at 6:30am, when I don't really have to" kind of commitment.

I know realization of it is the first step to truly being committed to being holy as God is holy.

I wanted to write about my pregnancy, but theres not much to say. I'm 17 weeks. Have not felt the baby move yet. We have an ultrasound schedule for Dec. 24th at 10:15 am, where we will get to see the baby. The ultrasound tech will put GIRL or BOY in an envelope and we will open it with my crazy family on Dec. 25th at 11:01am. I say 11:01am because we can not go to my mom's before 11 to open presents because her and my step-dad sleep forever in the mornings.... In 10 weeks I will beging my third and final trimester. Nothing in my life has ever passed me by faster than the last 17 weeks, and I know the next 10 will fly by. Then, I hear, time slows down a little bit. I am enjoying every new phase, craving, and pain that I am having.

I have directed my first Christmas program as a Children's Ministry Director. It will be the Sunday, December 16th. So wierd to know that in 4 more Christmas' that our first child could be in the church Christmas program. And if he or she is anything like thier Dad, they won't stay out of the spotlight.

It's now 4:42pm. It's time for me to leave work and enjoy my non-minstry Thursday evening. (That means my husband and I can do whatever we want and don't have to go to Youth Group, Awana, BFC meeting, or any of the other things that we do on most other nights of the week.)

The fall of Veggie Tales

I have a myspace that I check regularly. I spend most of my time catching up with teens from the church and a little bit catchin up with the adults in my life.

I don't enjoy "blogging" in my myspace, the things that I choose to write on myspace, are usually very purposefully written towards the teens.

I don't write about my pregnancy, which I should.

And I just read the most amazing LONG article about Phil Vischer, the fall of Big Idea, & Veggie Tales, AND I don't want to write about it my myspace.

I have a live journal that I check once a week. I don't really know why anymore. Routine.

And now I am here.

But here is where my grown-up friends are.
And I think I might be a grown-up to.

I am a chlidren's ministry director. I have always cared about the things that enter a child's heart and mind. And I always want those things to point a child to Christ.

I have watched a lot of Veggie Tales, but now that I am going to be a parent, I don't feel like I have read enough or watched enough of the things that will enter my child's heart and mind. Because now it is MY child that I want to be pointed to Christ. Oh how this will open my eyes.

I didn't think the feelings would change that much with a child on it's way. I thought I always cared a lot, but now, I care more than I did. In fact I care more today than I did yesterday. I only imagine that pattern will continue again tomorrow.

Which means I want to read and investigate everything that I come across, more that I already do in my job.

I've read three children's books today, I've read several book reviews, found a website that does christian children book reviews that I trust and like, and read the entire story behind the bankruptcy of Big Idea (the Veggie Tales company).

All because I happened to want a little background on a couple different things.
http://www.philvischer.com/index.php/?p=38 (Story of what happened to big idea?)

So I read the 10 page story of how the bakruptcy happend.

I took me awhile, I hate reading that long of articles on my computer, my hand fell asleep because my head was rested on my palm which my elbow and fore arm were supporting. Poor squashed, sad, asleep hand.

I was riveted by the article. I've always loved the business side of things - management and people and goals. And in ministry it is different. Because it's ministry, I know that that each person that I work with on a daily basis loves Jesus with all thier heart, or they wouldn't be working at a church. You don't work at church because you make lots of money. In fact, if you work at a church, you must ask yourself more than once, if you would do your job for free. And when you say yes, you must mean it. I am blessed to be paid for what I do.

I will begin posting in here more. I imagine. Especially as the pregnancy progresses.

Married

I should have posted about this sooner... as it has been almost a week now...

On Saturday, August 25th at promptly 1:00pm, I was married to the most amazing man I know. A man who wants to lead me, love me, respect me and further me on in my relationship with Christ.